


All That Could Have Been

by iwtv



Category: Black Sails
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 19:33:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3741007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwtv/pseuds/iwtv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the trip to the Carolina Colonies, Abigail has a chance encounter with Billy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That Could Have Been

All That Could Have Been

Something stirred Abigail from her sleep; she didn’t know what exactly. She vaguely remembered pieces of a dream, blurry images of people and a place that both fascinated and frightened her. It had been some place foreign, like the ship she was on now—a man o’war they called it—as well as the ocean it traveled across. They had been out to sea for five days now and she had grown quite accustomed to the gentle rocking of the hammock she lay in. Up until now it had always lulled her back to sleep when she woke, but not tonight.   
Now as the last vestiges of sleep fell away Abigail suddenly thought of the pirate that Captain Flint had introduced her to at dinner the night before. *His name’s Billy, in case you were wondering* Flint had said. The color had no doubt risen slightly to her cheeks then. Her father had taught her not to stare, after all, since she was young. It was rude and attracted unwanted attention. *Usually* unwanted. Abigail smiled to herself in the darkness at the thought. Billy had certainly done his share of staring at her, far longer than what was appropriate. He was an uncivilized pirate, she had told herself, but then the captain’s story about his past had moved her. She felt moved by it even now in the small hours of the night and it was making her restless.  
She left the comfort of the hammock, the wooden floor cool beneath her feet. She put on her slippers and looked around the room. Mrs. Hamilton lay in a hammock across from her. Abigail very carefully stepped towards her and paused to listen. She seemed to be sleeping soundly, not stirring. She glanced back behind her, where the door to the captain’s private quarters was tightly shut. She did not understand the exact nature of the captain’s relationship to Mrs. Hamilton but something told her that she normally would be rooming with the captain if not for Abigail’s presence. She had noticed some subtle change about Flint’s mannerisms when Mrs. Hamilton was around him. She dared to think the intimidating pirate captain looked and spoke softer, gentler when Mrs. Hamilton was around.  
That thought gave Abigail some small comfort about creeping away from her hammock and towards the door. The simple hook-shaped latch on it lifted easily. Her excuse would be that she had to relieve herself, an activity only possible outside a ship. In truth Abigail’s bladder was fine. As she climbed the stairway to the top of the ship the wood creaked terribly. Abigail froze, heart pounding. There was no immediate cause for alarm, she knew, yet still she felt like she was somehow intruding upon the rest of the crew, forcing herself into their world by leaving the safe confines of the captain’s quarters.  
There were few bodies on the deck of the ship, just enough men to insure the ship was being navigated safely through the night. To Abigail’s complete surprise she saw the familiar figure of Billy Bones towards the bow of the ship. Even with only the moonlight illuminating him she saw the muscles of his arms, strong and powerful as they checked the rope of the foremast. As her eyes adjusted and she walked towards him his face came into view, eyes focused heavenward as he gave the rope a few good pulls. All the fear and apprehension the girl had felt melted away as she watched him. Abigail stepped boldly now towards him, giving the slightest of nods to a few other crew members on the way. She could feel their eyes watching her, staring at her as she passed but she did not look back.  
When Billy saw her he let go of the ropes, surprise registering on his face.  
“Lady Ashe, what are doing up here?” His voice was a mixture of a rough demand and curiosity. He quickly apologized, but secretly Abigail had liked the sound of it.  
“I was unable to find sleep again, sir,” she replied, glad her own voice sounded strong. “I though perhaps watching the water and the waves might help.”  
Billy’s gaze softened ever so slightly. He made a gruff noise and looked around the deck.  
“You ought not to be up here,” he said. “Some of the crew think it’s bad luck to have a woman on board.”  
“A woman? You flatter me, sir. Most men still call me a girl.”  
Billy averted his eyes, giving her an awkward smile. It dawned on Abigail that she was making him uncomfortable. How absurd! Yet it seemed so. Billy muttered something about checking the rigging and walked towards the bowsprit at the front of the ship. Abigail followed him.  
“Mr…Bones, is it?” she called out.  
“Just Billy ma’am.”  
“Billy.” She liked the way his name sounded on her lips. “Might you stay by my side? Tell me something about the sea, perhaps, until I grow tired again?”  
Billy looked at her, hardened face carrying a soft glow in the moonlight reflected back from the water. He looked around the ship again. Abigail knew he was worried about the other crew members, yet when she followed his gaze she saw they were nearly alone on this end of the ship. He finally rewarded her with a small grin.  
“I can’t refuse an offer from the lady of the ship,” he said, coming to stand beside her and leaning on the railing. Abigail watched his arm muscles flex, saw the skin of his chest beneath his opened shirt. When she knew Billy noticed her gaze she did not look away.  
“You looked at me like that before,” he said.  
“And I recall you did the same,” she replied evenly. Their eyes met for the first time since that night. Abigail saw not a monster there but rather the story Flint had told her reflected in his gaze. There was more to him than what she had assumed.  
“Your eyes are beautiful,” he said when she least expected such a kindness. “Dark, but full of life, even when they should be closed.”  
Now Abigail did blush. She had not expected such words from a pirate. Her emotions getting the better of her, she reached up her hand and touched his cheek. It startled him but he did not reject the touch. She felt the roughness of his stubble, his chin. Her thumb skirted his lips and as it did so she saw him close his eyes and his muscles seemed to relax under her touch. Then as quickly as it began it ended when he grasped her hand with his own and gently pulled it down.  
“That’s not a good idea,” he said, voice almost sad. He was serious however and she saw it in his eyes. She sighed softly.  
“No it is not, I suppose.”  
“At least not here and not now,” Billy added, giving her a wistful look.  
They stood in silence for several minutes afterward, gazing out to the blue-black waters of the Caribbean and watching small fish jump in the air for insects. After a while the monotony of the water caused her eyes to grow heavy and Abigail felt sleep coming to her at last. Before saying good night to Billy she glanced down. He had not let go of her hand and they were entwined together. It almost pained her to have to remove it, and he resisted the change as she pulled away, letting their fingers linger over one another’s before he dropped his hand. Abigail looked over her shoulder once before she reached the stairs. He was staring after her, oblivious to everything else around him. Her heart pounded in her ears as she descended the stair case to go below deck once more, wondering about all that could have been. ***


End file.
